Blog Template Crisis!

Black or white? Yeah Michael Jackson, it does matter!

I know my url says scarlett and I was trying to maintain my medieval theme but it eventually brought boredom to my eyes. If you are new here, my blog's theme was red all over the place, white font, but it was pretty cool.. I loved it but I knew I needed to change it.

I wanted to try a clean-looking positive themed blog, but much to my lack of skills in creating themes, I cannot do what I imagine in my head.. So I went for the basic themes that Blogger offers users to choose from, now I'm indecisive. Will you help me choose? Please? I need your comments down below which look is better.

The black mystery.

The original plan was to have a white template to give off that light that creates a positive energy and the white color meaning pure, which provides a clean, welcoming blog. But that time, I was still trying to get accustomed to the customization portion of Blogger and I did not want to lose my current theme so I played it safe.. I decided to solely change the template, but it only permitted me to switch to either black or red. Since I have had that maroon template ever since I started blogging, I chose the black. For some reason, I liked it which explains why I currently have this theme and template on my blog. But I am the kind of person who cannot settle for something I did not picture. I was not expecting this look at all and it felt like something was missing in the blog. Aside from lacking luminous visibility, it obviously lacks emphasis on the content and that would not encourage the viewers to read my posts. I have a love-hate relationship with this look.

Considering I was not happy with my changes, I started playing around with the templates and themes. I wanted to see which one looked fitting to my imagination, and there you go, I finally figured how to make the template white...

The pure innocence.

Almost perfect! More complimenting, inviting and fresh (maybe because of the flowers). It nearly matched what I had in mind. You might ask why am I still indecisive about this if it is already parallel to what I had planned... well, it looks boring. I was just not use to clear and clean. I had always preferred dark over bright, except my laptop screen, of course. It just needs a little more of getting use to but now, it is your turn to decide and help me choose.. Which one is better? Which one encourages you more to visit and read my blog? Be honest please.


Having a dilemma here! Make sure you leave your comment! Thanks.

y tú son?

Hey! Person.. Err.. people who read my blog! Yeah you.. I don't know if it's the same people all the time but I keep getting views, more than normal, more than an unknown blogger would expect.. Not that I am complaining.. I just can't believe I would get unexpected number of views and still have zero count of people interacting with me. It feels like I am talking to myself.. Well.. that is the main purpose of this blog, to use it as an outlet of my thoughts but since I am seeing people dropping by my blog.. it would not hurt to get some friendly greeting from you.


YEAH I SEE YOU!


YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!



ps. and to those of you who are wondering what the title meant, it says and you are? in Spanish! Don't doubt my knowledge... I took Spanish in University. So you really don't have to question what I know. Besides, my native tongue is a dialect that was influenced by this language so HA! I cannot speak Spanish fluently without a dictionary in sight but I can pick up some words when I hear someone communicate in Spanish and from there, I get the idea of the conversation.. (Not an eavesdropper though!) 

Unlocking Your Potiential

The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me.

Disclaimer: The image used above was under the # (hashtag) inspirational on Tumblr. It looked suitable to what I had in mind which was why I decided to use it to compliment the inspirational quote above. All images and content are copyrighted by their respective owners. If your image was used and you would like it removed/ credited, then please contact me. Thank you and I apologize for the inconvenience. 

Good For Nothing

I know I made a post just twenty-four hours ago that I will maintain a positive stream on my blog.. but not today. Not when I see someone so important to me break down hysterically. It is very depressing because I feel useless. I am not making this about me but that person is so important to me and I am so concerned. I could not do anything but cry with that person. When is this going to end? Dear Lord, saving grace, whoever you are, please, give us a break from all the stress. This is too much and still it keeps piling up. We are so down and we are placed in a position where we could no longer handle it. We are doing all that we can, we are trying, we have gone beyond our means, we need a breather, please.


She needs some saving. I need it too. We both do.
In need of being rescued. All heroes please apply.

May: Fifth month, spring season, show me what you got!

I am not the type to sit around, go online on twitter, tumblr or facebook and post "Oh [whatever month it is], please be good to me!" I think that is a bit rubbish. You cannot expect good things to happen if you just lay around and not do anything, right? But if you happen to be reading this blog right now and you are one of those, I am not judging you. I just think... It's only my opinion. Carry on with what you want to do with your life!

I am trying to change my state of mind. I realized I have to live a little and not just exist. I have to shake off the negative energy and let myself free and do what I want to do. Be happy and reconnect with myself. I want to look forward to every day because I am lucky I have been given another day to live.

It's May, the fifth month of the year, almost halfway through the year. May is spring in Northern America, and spring means everything comes back to life, like nature. I decided that despite the cold, metaphorically and literally, I will head out and enjoy the sunshine.

I will embrace every excitement, and new experiences, so May, what do you have in store for me? :)








*This is the very first blog entry that I have included a smiley, and my very first entry with no negativity - another positive sign*

Am I becoming... Jenna Hamilton?

Minus the two hot lads?Okay that title seems to be misleading and quite pretentious. I will never be Jenna Hamilton. Jenna Hamilton is a master in this craft. I know she is fictional, but giving credits to the writer of the show Awkward just do not seem right.

I noticed I have been blogging daily. It is not normal for someone like me. But I realized I am blogging because I enjoy it. I think Jenna Hamilton from Awkward inspired me. I mean, I was already blogging before I even watched Awkward but lately, it feels different. I find myself more confident and inspired. I wonder when this phase will end. (Wow, way to go!) That last sentence just shows you how much confidence I lack in myself. But I know me, I don't keep up with blogging, however, I hope I remain consistent. Blogging has been an outlet for me. It is more convenient than buying a diary or journal at the bookstore that I will write my name on but will never use. I just prefer it this way. I believe it is more inspiring to write when an event or an emotion provokes you to do so. In my own experience, I have noticed that my feelings influence me to compose the messages I blog or write. So to be consistent, I have to have the patience, the will and determination, and I have to keep my relationship with myself intact. I know I still have a lot to earn, and my grammar sucks, I know. But this is my blog and I can do whatever I please. If I spot an error in my writing, I will edit it. If I don't, then I don't. After all, writing is a form of expression not for impression. 

That is all, thank you.

ps. I detected that I stopped using my blogging name SSJ at the end of my blog entries. I was unaware though I think that is a positive sign.

A list to fulfill, working in progress. For the bookworm and the movie buff.

I have four months to kill until I surround myself yet again with self-destructive school work, or anything related to school. Considering I am jobless and have no perfect social life, I thought, why not use those vacant four months productively? I love everything about art. If only I were born artistic, I would definitely pursue something in arts. Growing up, I was exposed to great variety of art and music. I can definitely call my old house 'the home and the culture of music and arts'. I am not bragging, I am just really proud to be given that kind of opportunity. I feel blessed because I know a lot of children miss out on so many things. This is the portion of my life that I want to share to my future family. My idea of remedy. It makes me intact and complete.

I find pleasure in reading, traveling, listening to music and watching great flicks and television shows. Reading wonderful books, gazing at the beautiful scenery that the world offers and unique architecture around the globe, and being entertained by a range of awesome music and collection of visual images are all very captivating because you learn and escape the stresses of life. Nothing is better than absorbing great art and culture to expand the mind. Delightful!

I have been surfing the cyberspace for some great flicks and shows to add to my list, and I also do the same for book hunting. The lists below will consist of all my friends' recommendations, the ones I found myself and the ones I have treasured with me all these years. Amazing list, I tell you, this shall keep me busy. I suggest you do the same, you will thank me later.

Who knows, I might even update this by adding more on the list whenever I come across something at the bookstore or here on the Internet that sparks my interest. 

If you have some suggestions, please, I beg you, feel free to comment down below and I will definitely add it here. Thank you.



My friends' recommendations:


MOVIES

• Wild Child (Emma Roberts)
• A lot Like Love (Ashton Kutcher)
• Celeste and Jesse Forever (Rashida Jones)
• Just Like Heaven (Reese Witherspoon)
• This Means War (Reese Witherspoon)
• The Butterfly Effect (Ashton Kutcher)
• Big Fish (Helena Bonham Carter) 
• Because I Said So (Mandy Moore)
• Stepmom (Julia Robert)
• Bachelorette (Isla Fisher)
• The Prestige (Scarlett Johansson) 
• The Illusionist (Jessica Biel)
• Something Borrowed (Kate Hudson)
• American Beauty (Kevin Spacey)
• Zack and Miri Make A Porno (Seth Rogen)
• The Help ! (Emma Stone)
• Stardust (Michelle Pfeiffer) 
• It's Kind of a Funny Story (Emma Roberts)
• Blood Diamond (Leonardo DiCaprio)
• Sweet November (Keanu Reeves, Charlize Theron)
• Rain Man (Tom Cruise, Dustin Hoffman)
• The Accidental Hero (Dustin Hoffman, Geena Davis)
• High Fidelity (John Cusack, Jack Black)
• Lost in Translation (Scarlett Johansson, Anna Faris)
• Memento (Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss)
• I Heart the Huckabees (Mark Wahlberg, Lily Tomlin)
• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Jim Carey, Kate Winslet)

BOOKS

• The Prince and the Pauper - Mark Twain
• Slammed - Colleen Hoover
• Point of Retreat - Colleen Hoover
• Hopeless - Colleen Hoover
• Starters - Lissa Price
• Every Day - David Levithan [Started on the last week of March, current]
• The Selection - Kiera Cass
• Delirium Trilogy - Lauren Oliver
• The Alchemy of Forever - Avery Williams
• Thoughtless Trilogy - S.C Stephens
• Existence Series - Abbi Glines
• Falling For You - Lisa Schroeder 
• Divergent & Insurgent - Veronica Roth
• My Super Sweet Sixteenth Century - Rachel Harris
• If You Could See Me Now - Cecelia Ahern
• Bloom - Elizabeth Scott
• A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini
• The Perfect Game - J Sterling
• The Mortal Instruments; City of Bones, etc. - Cassandra Clare
• There You'll Find Me - Jenny Jones
• Taking Chances - Molly McAdams
• From Ashes - Molly McAdams
• Breathe - Abi  Glines
• Because of Low - Abi  Glines
• Just For Now - Abi Glines
• While it Lasts - Abi Glines
• Perfect Chemistry - Simone Elkeles

MY FINDS:

Books:

• This Book Will Change Your Life - Benrik
• You Against Me - Jesse Downham
• Before I Die - Jesse Downham
• The Book of Awesome (Holiday) - Neil Pasricha
• Love The One You're With - Emily Griffin
• Hearts Of The Matter - Emily Griffin
• Why Men Marry Bitches - Sherry Argov [2010, stopped, then 2011 - still reading]
• Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man - Steve Harvey [2011 - still reading]
• The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
• Purity - Jackson Pearce
• Something Like Fate -Susane Colasanti
• 1000 Ultimate Experience by Lonely Planet
• I Wrote This For You - pleasefindthis
• Me Before You - Jojo Moyes [read 3 chapters at a bookstore, will continue]
• Friends Forever - Danielle Steele
• One Summer - David Baldacci
• Halo - Alexandra Adornetto [March 2012 - still reading]
• Love & Leftovers - Sarah Tregay
• Remember Me - Sophie Kinsella
• Can You Keep A Secret? - Sophia Kinsella
• Always Something There To Remind Me - Beth Harrison
• I Hate Everyone.. Starting With Me - Joan Rivers [started (date n/a) - still reading]
• The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
• Why We Broke Up - Daniel Handler, Maira Kalman
• The Catcher in The Rye - J.D Salinger
• #1 Beautiful Disaster - Jamie McGuire
• #2 Walking  Disaster - Jamie McGuire 
• Playing for Keeps - R.L. Mathewson
• Whatever You Think, Think The Opposite - Paul Arden
• Eleanor and Park - Rainbow Rowell
• Too Much Happiness - Alice Munro
• For One More Day - Mitch Albom
• What My Mother Gave Me - Elizabeth Benedict

(More Coming Soon)


Movies:

• Just Friends (Ryan Reynolds, Anna Farris)
  (Watched it already, just want to watch it again since I don't remember half of it)
• A Guy Thing (Julia Stiles, Selma Blair)
• The Pick-Up Artist (Robert Downey, Molly Ringwald)
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt)
• Silver Linings (Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence)
• Little Black Book (Brittany Murphy, Kathy Bates)
• Keith (Jesse McCartney, Elisabeth Harnois)
• Chasing Amy (Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams)
• She's All That (Freddie Prinze, Rachel Leigh Cook)
• How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days (Kate Hudson)
• The Girl Next Door (Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert)
• Summer Catch (Freddie Prinze, Jessica Biel) 
• She's The One (Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz)
• Along Came Polly (Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston)
• Get Over It (Kristen Dunst, Mila Kunis)
• The Romantics (Katie Holmes, Josh Duhammel)
• Head Over Heels (Monica Potter, Freddie Prinze)
• There's Something About Mary (Ben Stiller, Cameron Diaz)
• Happy Together (Patrick Dempsey, Helen Slater)
• Love Happens (Jennifer Aniston)
• The Bounty Hunter (Jennifer Aniston, Gerard Butler)
• The Nanny Diaries (Scarlett Johansson)
• My Sassy Girl (Elisha Cuthbert, Jesse Bradford)
• Click (Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale)
• How Do You Know (Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon)
• Admission (Paul Rudd, Tina Fey)
• She's Out Of My League (Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve)
• Down To You (Julia Stiles, Freddie Prinze, Jr.)
• Boys and Girls (Freddie Prinze, Claire Forlani)

(More Coming Soon)

Long list, isn't it? Just when you think it's over, I also want to add some of my all time favorites that I have seen for more than I can even count, and some of the ones that aren't my favorites but still have enjoyed.. As you read my movie list, you would notice how much of a Julia Roberts, J Love Hewitt, J.LO and Meg Ryan movie fan I was.


TOP RECOMMENDATIONS FROM YOURS TRULY:
(These are the books that I have read and loved, and the movies that I have watched and are forever going to be my go-to movies! My picks that made a huge mark and impact, in no particular order.)

MY PICKS - BOOKS/PLAYS etc.:

• The Catastrophic History of You and Me - Jess Rothenberg
• Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher
• The Fault In Our Stars - John Green 
• A Midsummer Night's Dream - William Shakespeare
• Paradise Lost - John Milton
• Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
• If I Stay - Gayle Forman

(More Coming Soon)

MY PICKS - MOVIES:

• My Best Friend's Wedding (Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz) (My all time favorite since I was six years old)
• Clueless (Alicia Silverstone) (My favorite teen movie!!!)
• The Hot Chick (Rachel McAdams, Anna Farris) (This is my favorite McAdams movie!)
• A Walk To Remember (Mandy Moore, Shane West)
• Casper (Christina Ricci) (My favorite childhood movie)
• What A Girl Wants (Amanda Bynes, Oliver James)
• Empire Records (Liv Tyler, Renee Zellweger)
• Bridget Jones's Diary (Renee Zellweger, Hugh Grant)
• The Prince of Egypt (1998, Animated)
• The Object of My Affection (Paul Rudd, Jennifer Aniston)
• I Know What You Did Last Summer 1 and 2 (J Love Hewitt) (My favorite thriller)
• Pearl Harbor (Ben Affleck)
• Armageddon (Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler)
• Maid in Manhattan (Jennifer Lopez)
• Notting Hill (Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant)
• City of Angels (Nicolas Cage, Meg Ryan)
• Ice Castle 1978 (Lynn Holly Johnson)

(More Coming Soon)


Cheesy.. funny.. suspense.. all the enjoyable movies:

• My Girl (Jamie Lee Curtis, Macaulay Culkin) (Must!!!!!!)
• What's Your Number - (Chris Evans, Anna Farris) (MUST!)
• My Monster In Law (Jennifer Lopez) (MUST!)
• Legally Blonde (Reese Witherspoon)
• The Mask (Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz)
• Picture Perfect (Jennifer Aniston) (MUST!)
• Corpse Bride (Animated) (MUST!!!)
• 10 Things I Hate About You (Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon Levitt)
• It's Complicated (Meryl Streep) 
• I Love You, Man (Paul Rudd)
• Bridesmaids (Kristen Wiig) (Muustttt!!!)
• The Last Song (Miley Cyrus)
• The Change-Up (Ryan Reynolds)
• Pretty Woman (Julia Roberts)
• The Wedding Planner (Jennifer Lopez)
• Sydney White (Amanda Bynes)
• The Break Up (Jennifer Aniston)
• Serendipity (Kate Beckinsale)
• What To Expect When You're Expecting (Cameron Diaz, Rebel Wilson)
• Life As We Know It (Katherine Heigl) (Must!!!!!)
• Love and Basketball (Glenndon Chatman, Jess Willard)
• Save the Last Dance (Julia Stiles)
• Definitely, Maybe (Ryan Reynolds)
• Love Actually (Variety of Actors and Actresses)
• The Ugly Truth (Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler) (Must!!!!)
• When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan)
• Ruby Sparks (Zoe Kazan) (Must!!! It's unique!! It hit me after!)
• White Chicks (Shawn and Marlon Wayans) (Comedy, MUST!!!!)
• 500 Days Of Summer (Zooey Deschanel, Joseph Gordon Levitt)
• Say Anything (John Cusack, Ione Skye)
• Easy A (Emma Stone, Penn Badgley)
• If Only (Jennifer Love Hewitt)
• Sex and the City Movie 1 (Sarah Jessica Parker)
• Sexy and the City Movie 2 (Sarah Jessica Parker)
• Juno (Ellen Page, Michael Cera)
• The 40 Year Old Virgin (Ben Stiller)
• 27 Dresses (Katherine Heigl)
• Marley and Me (Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson)
• Hitch (Will Smith)
• My Best Friend's Girl (Kate Hudson)
• Crazy Stupid Love (Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone)
• The Holiday (Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet)
• Seventeen Again (Zac Efron)
• Letters to Juliet (Amanda Seyfried)
• 50 First Dates (Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore)
• Leap Year (Isla Fisher)
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Jason Segel, Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell)
• When In Rome (Kristen Bell)
• Friends with Benefits (Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis)
• The Proposal (Ryan Reynolds, Sandra Bullock) (MUST!)
• Just Go with It (Jennifer Aniston, Adam Sandler) (MUST!)
• The Breakfast Club (Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson) 
• License To Wed (Mandy Moore)
• The Heartbreak Kid (Ben Stiller, Malin Akerman)

(More Coming Soon)

Pretty good books, could be a hit, so-so or miss for anyone:

• The Perks of Being A Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky 
• Hamlet - William Shakespeare
• Macbeth - William Shakespeare
• The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
• Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
• A Lover's Dictionary - David Levithan
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens - Sean Covey

(More Coming Soon)

Spill, Feel and Objective

Okay, if you go on this blog often you would know how much I love my family, especially my mother. Also, if you know me personally, you get an idea of how much I'd go through just for her. If you know me personally and we have a close relationship, you would know that she is always there for me and how much I am itching to give her the life she should have had because of all the sacrifices she made for me. Today, okay not today since it is almost 1 in the morning, but I meant, yesterday, 29th of April, I finally spilled something to my mother. It felt like the right time. I don't know, I feel like a child whenever I am around her, maybe because I will always be her little girl. I just always have this urge to hug her.. so a few hours ago, when she was about to sleep, I was laying down beside her and I just tried to cuddle her. Not with her because she gets annoyed of me, she thinks I am quite old to be doing that.. and when she said "Stop!", it just happened, I just happened to tell her, straight from my mouth, "let me, I will miss all this when you're gone." I know she felt it when I said it because it took her a while to joke about what I said, and her response was "Oh so I'm going to die soon, huh?". But after that, there were no words in the room but I was still wrapped around her. That moment, she just let me enjoy every moment of it. Which was why I knew my heart breaking honesty struck her somehow. I let go soon enough because I was hurting. It hurts me, it feels like my chest is constantly being stabbed numerous times whenever I think about the end.. I just.. it.. I don't want to live a day without her. I can already imagine myself not functioning when it's time.

But right now, I just hope I get at least 30 more decades with her. More time with her. I hope time lets me graduate, work full-time and still have her there by my side supporting me. I hope time gives me more years with her just so that she can meet my future husband if I will ever get married, because I want her to be there.. I want her to witness it. I want her permission. I want her blessings. I hope the will time allow me to show my wonderful mother; the most beautiful, brave and caring person in the world, to my children. I want my mother to be there to guide me in raising my children and have her tell them stories about our family. I hope time provides me more future with my mother just so that I can make my dreams happen, and that is to show her that all my life, my only goal is to have her feel loved, appreciated and relaxed. Have her stay at home and just pamper her. I want to make her experience everything she missed out on because of me.

I hope time grants me everything, all the time that I need so that I can do everything I have planned for my mother all these years. Just give me more time, and I will do the rest.

Alive but barely living

This is crazy. Ever since I let myself down last year, I just gained weight, lost my social life outside my house and been sleeping more than usual. It's the same routine over and over again... (I tried to tell you my routine but something tells me not to so I deleted it) I am so tired.. I am alive but I am barely living the life I was lucky enough to be given.

Thank you to my parents though because whenever they are around, they unknowingly help me forget about my existent and non-existent problems.

Someone enliven me. Please.

Incomplete and broken

It's two in the morning and I have never felt so lonely in my life. What makes it worse is that I am alone and lonely.. Weeping, grieving, crying, over-thinking, breaking.. this happens on a daily basis. I always wonder why I was destined to live here.. come to think that life would be easier and better here, I still yearn for my life back home. It's difficult. It's been difficult. I have been struggling. I have been trying to accept that things change, nothing ever stays the same but I just don't want to... Deep inside my heart I know something is missing, something really important, something huge and this leaves an enormous hole in my heart. Having to think about the incredible past, the isolated present and the unclear future leaves me broken. I have been patiently waiting for the wonderful and positive things, but I have been waiting for years and years... Right now I can't see the good. I can't imagine something great without having to look at the bad, of course because I'm pessimistic, what did I except right? I am so blinded by the pain. The insufficient has left me destroyed and damaged.. and I'm afraid that the scars will stay.. forever.

I just want to be happy.
I just want my life back.