How am I.. really?

Ever had those days when you just do not know what to feel, what to think and what to do? I feel like Rapunzel, trapped and isolated. But unlike her, I am not trapped because I live in a high castle, I am trapped because I have so many thoughts running through my head. It bothers me. My negative thoughts weigh heavier than the positive ones. I am not free because my problems ambush me, it often leads to damage and the feeling of pain is not foreign to me. I feel so abused mentally because I am an emotional person, and to have all these bizarre, depressing and stressing thoughts, it is too much for me to handle. I hurt, every single day. I said I wanted to be positive, I am, but the bad energy at home has reached it's maximum. Whenever someone is stressed, it affects others like a domino. I feel so isolated because no one will ever get me. I feel so detached, and deserted from everything else because my baggage influences me to separate myself from people. Even my parents do not acknowledge the fact that I am depressed too. I am not sure if it is because I am younger and seem happy, or because they think I am carefree as fuck? But who am I to complain compared to everything they are going through? When will this end? I love my parents, and every time they go through something, mentally and emotionally, I go through it too. When they are hurt, I hurt too. I am very empathetic. It is a never ending battle. What did I say about having a break with all these problems? Dear heavenly father, I think I have had enough. I am trying to so hard to be positive, and just when I thought I am managing, it all comes crumbling down again.

To say I am fine is a load of bullshit.
To say I will be seems hopeless and pretentious.
To describe that everything right now is bad is an understatement.

So how am I really because at this point, I really have no idea anymore.

Good For Nothing

I know I made a post just twenty-four hours ago that I will maintain a positive stream on my blog.. but not today. Not when I see someone so important to me break down hysterically. It is very depressing because I feel useless. I am not making this about me but that person is so important to me and I am so concerned. I could not do anything but cry with that person. When is this going to end? Dear Lord, saving grace, whoever you are, please, give us a break from all the stress. This is too much and still it keeps piling up. We are so down and we are placed in a position where we could no longer handle it. We are doing all that we can, we are trying, we have gone beyond our means, we need a breather, please.


She needs some saving. I need it too. We both do.
In need of being rescued. All heroes please apply.