Sunday, April 28, 2013

Incomplete and broken

It's two in the morning and I have never felt so lonely in my life. What makes it worse is that I am alone and lonely.. Weeping, grieving, crying, over-thinking, breaking.. this happens on a daily basis. I always wonder why I was destined to live here.. come to think that life would be easier and better here, I still yearn for my life back home. It's difficult. It's been difficult. I have been struggling. I have been trying to accept that things change, nothing ever stays the same but I just don't want to... Deep inside my heart I know something is missing, something really important, something huge and this leaves an enormous hole in my heart. Having to think about the incredible past, the isolated present and the unclear future leaves me broken. I have been patiently waiting for the wonderful and positive things, but I have been waiting for years and years... Right now I can't see the good. I can't imagine something great without having to look at the bad, of course because I'm pessimistic, what did I except right? I am so blinded by the pain. The insufficient has left me destroyed and damaged.. and I'm afraid that the scars will stay.. forever.

I just want to be happy.
I just want my life back.

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