Friday, May 17, 2013

Soft Spot for The Oldies

It's been a while Blogspot! Not that anyone missed me or anything, oh please, no one even knows this blog exists. Lately, I really had nothing to talk about which explains why I haven't written anything at all this week. The one I've posted this week and last week had been on my draft for almost two weeks. 

This post will be about a special moment that happened during Mother's Day.

After celebrating Mother's day downtown with my parents, we decided to go home since we still had a lot of things to do. We took the subway home and it was surprisingly not busy.

I was sitting beside an old Chinese grandma in the subway train. She was sitting where the window was, and since I was beside her, we were both facing the direction of the train. I noticed that she kept looking on her left side (where I was) and I realized that she was observing twins on the stroller. She had this really peaceful and gleeful smile while gazing at them. She was so adorable that I wanted to pinch her cheeks. It's always a long way home from Downtown, it usually takes 30-40 minutes until I get to my stop. Since I was really bloated from the all-you-can eat Sushi that I consumed, I focused on my music.

I saw through her actions that her stop was next and since my legs were on the way, I had to move for her to pass. When she was about to leave her seat, she said something to me. Unfortunately, I was not able to hear her because I had my earphones on, but it was somewhere along the lines of take care. 

Although I was not able to hear what she had to say, I was dazed by her cheerful smile. I rarely see the elderlies that happy and bright, especially in a public transit. I felt bad that I was not able to reply to whatever she said so I moved to her seat and hoping I would see her pass by the window. When she got off of the train, she looked at the window where I was sitting and when she saw me she waved goodbye and smiled bright from ear to ear. I felt some positive energy and less annoyed in the train after seeing her smile.

I always have a soft spot for the aged people. I grew up with my grandparents which explains why I do. 
Her smile seriously brightened up my mood! I was concerned about her though. I started to wonder if she is alone in life or if she has a family to come home to. I felt bad that she had to take the public transit by herself. It looked like she is alone in the city, but I really hope she has a family here. No one deserves to grow old alone. Her smile looked so optimistic and it really passed on to me because her smile enlivened my mood. To others that might be normal, but to me, it was special and rare. She totally made me miss my grandparents even more.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Rare Streak of Luck

This post had been on my draft for weeks! Oopsies!

I usually do not believe in luck or anything that is associated with it. Mostly because of all the unfortunate events that happened to me lately. But things turned around....

One very early morning, I found myself wide awake and sleep deprived. There are days when I really have some trouble sleeping and that morning was one of those days. Since I was awake and had nothing better to do, I decided to go with my parents and do some errands. It was such a beautiful morning that day and the weather was perfect to most of the population. My mother and I had to do something before we went grocery shopping. My dad on the other hand had to wash the car. While my mother and I were trying to waste time, she decided to buy some crossword puzzle scratch card in the convenient store. My mom has an obsession (well I call it an obsession) with scratch cards and lottery. It's awesome how she wins all the time but not the jackpot prize. She knew I enjoy scratching cards which was why she asked me to pick one and she was going to pay for it. Obviously I did not decline. We went back to our waiting location and we scratched the cards we bought. I decided to listen to music on my iPhone as I scratched the card I have chosen to play. I had an inexplicable energy for someone who lacked sleep. It was probably the music, all I knew was that I was happy scratching the card. My heart was racing because I was so eager to see if I won something, and as I scratched out all the letters, I was very pleased to see that I won, finally!

See, I bought a lot of crossword scratch cards in my life and had no luck. Except for that one time when my mother bought a card and asked me to scratch it, although the prize was only $3. I do not count that as my winning moment because she picked the card. But this time I finally won, even though she paid for it, I chose the card! I was very happy because I won $25! You might consider my winning momentum as no big deal because it's a small amount but I am still thankful.

The selfish person that I am wanted to keep the $25 for myself but my mother argued and claimed her right to collect the prize. Some of you might be on her side but I believe that was all on me.. I deserve the credit. Since I chose the card I settled for $20 and she took $5 and added another dollar to buy two more scratch cards. Of course, one for each of us. Guess what? My mother won $25, and I won $5! Crazy right? But crazier after we found out that we won more than we expected! When we went to the convenience store to claim our prizes, we screamed when the machine declared that my mother won $50 (We thought she only won $25). So what did my mother do? She did not want to stop and block the run of luck so we played more. Much to my glorified triumph, I kept winning more $3 from my scratch cards. The lady at the convenience store kept telling each and everyone at her store about me and my mother's sweep because we kept winning. Our continuous victory made us keep coming back to the store. Not to imply greed but how I wish we won the jackpot instead! Wouldn't you?

That day was not a normal day for me, I felt happy that I almost seem boastful about it. The excitement and joy I felt winning consecutively was something I will never forget... I call it, the rare steak of luck.

Friday, May 10, 2013

*Imagine Liv Tyler Smiling With those Lips*

I cannot think of a better title. It may sound a bit improper but who cares! I basically wanted to describe how cheerful I am today through my title. I guess picturing Liv Tyler's wide lips when she smiles describes how happy I am at the moment.

This post is going to be short, I hope because I just want to talk about something really positive today!

This morning our TFC Box (A Filipino Channel Box that contains hundreds of programs imported from the Philippines' most popular network, Abs-Cbn) stopped functioning. If you are not Filipino, you would not really get it. Anyway, the head office that is responsible for the TFC Box decided to change the format of all the program receivers. They also replaced all the HDR Boxes to a more compact one, a smaller size. Few weeks ago, we received our box and was told that they will discontinue the original box (the current box that we have) meaning it will no longer operate. We decided to wait until our box actually shuts down until we connect the new box. Just this morning, our box eventually stopped working which meant that I had to finally connect the new one to our television. No one was going to connect it because my parents do not know how, so I had no choice but to do it myself. In the manual, users are instructed to call for installment assistance. But I am the kind of person who loves to do it myself first before I ask for someone else's help. I did it without reading instructions or the manual, and it was a success. After installing the box, fixing the wiring and the connections, all I needed to do was to call the contact number they have provided to activate our box.  To have our box activated was the only time I asked for help. When I was put on hold, the screen loaded meaning I have successfully installed the box. I was surprised when my stepfather said he was very impressed with my skills (out of nowhere) and he pat me in the back. I am quite techy and handy when it comes to these things. I was overjoyed when I saw him smiling and when he added more compliments saying I did a great job. He said was impressed because he can't even do certain things by himself, especially without reading manuals. To some people this might not be a big deal but my skills were acknowledged and that rarely happens. It matters to me. It really is the smallest things, huh? All my life I just wanted to be appreciated. Appreciation was all I ever asked from people and I am glad to get once in a while.

Appreciation do not necessarily mean I want to hear compliments all the time, I just want to be appreciated through my actions. I love it when my work, my doings and my achievements receive acknowledgment. I expect some appreciation when I deserve it. Simple things like this really makes me smile. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

The 20/20 Eargasmic Experience

This blog post includes an adult material: intended for mature readers only! Don't say I didn't warn you!

Oh the joy of writing about something you can't even have. How heartbreaking! I assume that all of you know the attractive man in the picture above, right? I will be entirely surprised if you don't.. I mean.. this man is a legend.. He was the lead singer of N Sync, a remarkable boyband from the 90s era that sold almost 80 million copies of album worldwide! A 32-year old man who still obtains the power of making some females' undergarments WET! A legend in the music industry who ditched the album production for seven years. Well, he did not abandon music because he had some songs just not an album so using the word 'ditched' does not really make sense. I would say he just wanted to make it perfect, I guess, while he experienced some other things like acting and taking roles in movies but that obviously drove some of his fans insane! A lot of his admirers, including me, were waiting for his comeback... and seven years later, he finally did! 

He finally released his third album The 20/20 Experience.. His album is absolutely-beyond-amazing! We may have anticipated for his return in the music enterprise for a very long time but every second of the wait was worth it! His album totally made up for those seven years and it does not end there, the second half of his 20/20 Experience album is coming out in Fall! Crazy! I love it! I am currently hooked on his single Mirrors and for some reason this song just makes me want to cry! I really do not know why, I guess it is because it reminds me of my childhood. The song Mirrors holds a melody resembling the 90s era, and his old school hits! I am so in love with this single. It sounds so sincere yet so sexy, it's a pop-ballad, with epic-genius written all over the lyrics. He co-wrote all the songs in the album, it was obvious that this song, if not the whole album, will leave a mark to his fans. This song has been overplayed.. If the countless times I have played this song would result to my phone breaking, my phone will shatter in to million pieces. But no it won't! My phone agrees with me, my phone loves the song! It plays the song automatically for me without me doing anything! Please listen to it if you are still not convinced!

Do you agree with me yet? Oh man, I do not think you even needed my persuasion for you to realize that this guy is pure genius! To prove how much he loves his supporters so much, he is having a tour! But unfortunately.. from where I live..

Yes. It's sold out. Not entirely though because they are selling a pair of third row tickets for $700.. Sadly, I do not have that kind of amount. At this point, I am willing to become someone's slave for a maximum of three months to have that money! Call me ridiculous, desperate but this is a once in a lifetime chance! I was not a big fan of Justin (yet) when he was still with Britney, mostly because of his hair and I was younger and more immature then but since his album Justified? Are you kidding me? With his epic comeback?!?!?! I am definitely going to move mountains just to experience his tour! Especially when I saw his recent live performances at Brit Awards, The Ellen Show, etc.?!?!?! He still got it!!!! OH man.. He sounds more amazing live! I do not know how he does it but it's simple, he is JT! He is one of the few people in the music industry that I would pay $$$$$$$ (no matter what a waste it would seem to some of you) because his world-class talent deserves it! Not to mention his 100% incredible performance anytime, anywhere.. You would see that he puts his heart and his soul not only in his music but also in his performances. 
It's depressing because whenever someone that I love for more than all my life comes and have a tour in my city, I am always unemployed and no savings.. Like it's always a bad timing! Whenever I have a job, they don't come here! WHY WHY WHY!!!!! 

I know I have said the word crazy in this post several times but I am going to use it again.. It's crazy how I am getting goosebumps while writing this! I am also not sure if I ran out of adjectives to describe how talented he is, or is it because there is no adjective suitable for how astonishing he is! The near-seven-year wait between albums tells you how perfect he wanted this album to be! It is clear to see how serious he was with his comeback! I am not sure if anyone else besides him (after so many years) who would possess a creative and refreshing album can return and still create an impact and charm the population. If this first half is already amazing, I wonder what would the second half sound like..  I am sure it would be ten times better. Ever heard of save the best for last? To be quite honest, he is the only Justin in the world that has the kind of talent that every one in the world would bow and applaud to. Yes, if you are still clueless about who he is, this astounding and talented guy who is equally attractive is no other than Justin Timberlake.

So are any of you going to his 20/20 Experience Tour? Let me know down below! If you aren't... express your misery in the comment box. I will cry with you!

I did not write this to boast about his talent that every one seems to already acknowledge! I wrote this to express how affected I am (in a good way) of his comeback and how badly I want to experience his concert!! I love his album! I love you Justin Timberlake! Although.......... I would not say no if someone like Ellen DeGeneres would see this sorta-embarrassing but sincere post and give me tickets to his concert!!! :)

A girl can dream.

Haha, this is funny.. I was only supposed to whine about the fact that I can't go to his concert with an introduction about him but this post became something else... An expression of admiration. I hope he sees this somehow.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Drop Dead Troll

I have no idea why I did what I did... I have pulled a very silly and unpleasant prank on my mother. It was around five in the morning when I woke up from my long afternoon-night sleep.. Since I had a lengthy slumber, I could not continue sleeping, I knew I had to get up. I looked around and noticed that my laptop was not in my room which was why I knew that it was in my parent's room. I felt so comfortable on my parent's bed, it was obviously because of the size, compared to mine, it's bigger and the mattress was very firm. It was that cozy that I did not even realize almost two hours had passed. I then heard footsteps that I recognized, it was my mother's and for some reason, I thought of doing a prank. A prank that could have given her a heart attack. Any guesses? I just opened their room's door, and played dead on the floor. I am so stupid, I feel so guilty because she called my name, and her voice was so worried, but I still did not get up.. Seeing that I was still not up, she walked rapidly towards me and that's when I decided to end her fear and distress. I stood up and saw the relief on her face when she saw me get up and alive. She called me an idiot but she started laughing, and so did I.

Until now, I question myself why I did such a dumb thing to my mother. I mean I am not even suicidal and I was not looking for attention because I already get enough from them.. If I did it for fun, well, what fun, right? That was not fun at all. She did not deserve that. It puts me in such a bad mood, and pensive state of mind (in a bad way) because I am frazzled. I guess it is because she did not get furious or yell when she found out I was only joking, and that places me in the guilt box.

Crazy me. I am so naive and ashamed of what I did. What an idiotic thing for me to do. Shame on me.

Disclaimer: The image used above was on Tumblr. It looked suitable to what I had in mind which was why I decided to use it to compliment my post above. All images and content are copyrighted by their respective owners. If your image was used and you would like it removed/ credited, then please contact me. Thank you and I apologize for the inconvenience.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

How am I.. really?

Ever had those days when you just do not know what to feel, what to think and what to do? I feel like Rapunzel, trapped and isolated. But unlike her, I am not trapped because I live in a high castle, I am trapped because I have so many thoughts running through my head. It bothers me. My negative thoughts weigh heavier than the positive ones. I am not free because my problems ambush me, it often leads to damage and the feeling of pain is not foreign to me. I feel so abused mentally because I am an emotional person, and to have all these bizarre, depressing and stressing thoughts, it is too much for me to handle. I hurt, every single day. I said I wanted to be positive, I am, but the bad energy at home has reached it's maximum. Whenever someone is stressed, it affects others like a domino. I feel so isolated because no one will ever get me. I feel so detached, and deserted from everything else because my baggage influences me to separate myself from people. Even my parents do not acknowledge the fact that I am depressed too. I am not sure if it is because I am younger and seem happy, or because they think I am carefree as fuck? But who am I to complain compared to everything they are going through? When will this end? I love my parents, and every time they go through something, mentally and emotionally, I go through it too. When they are hurt, I hurt too. I am very empathetic. It is a never ending battle. What did I say about having a break with all these problems? Dear heavenly father, I think I have had enough. I am trying to so hard to be positive, and just when I thought I am managing, it all comes crumbling down again.

To say I am fine is a load of bullshit.
To say I will be seems hopeless and pretentious.
To describe that everything right now is bad is an understatement.

So how am I really because at this point, I really have no idea anymore.

Blog Template Crisis!

Black or white? Yeah Michael Jackson, it does matter!

I know my url says scarlett and I was trying to maintain my medieval theme but it eventually brought boredom to my eyes. If you are new here, my blog's theme was red all over the place, white font, but it was pretty cool.. I loved it but I knew I needed to change it.

I wanted to try a clean-looking positive themed blog, but much to my lack of skills in creating themes, I cannot do what I imagine in my head.. So I went for the basic themes that Blogger offers users to choose from, now I'm indecisive. Will you help me choose? Please? I need your comments down below which look is better.

The black mystery.

The original plan was to have a white template to give off that light that creates a positive energy and the white color meaning pure, which provides a clean, welcoming blog. But that time, I was still trying to get accustomed to the customization portion of Blogger and I did not want to lose my current theme so I played it safe.. I decided to solely change the template, but it only permitted me to switch to either black or red. Since I have had that maroon template ever since I started blogging, I chose the black. For some reason, I liked it which explains why I currently have this theme and template on my blog. But I am the kind of person who cannot settle for something I did not picture. I was not expecting this look at all and it felt like something was missing in the blog. Aside from lacking luminous visibility, it obviously lacks emphasis on the content and that would not encourage the viewers to read my posts. I have a love-hate relationship with this look.

Considering I was not happy with my changes, I started playing around with the templates and themes. I wanted to see which one looked fitting to my imagination, and there you go, I finally figured how to make the template white...

The pure innocence.

Almost perfect! More complimenting, inviting and fresh (maybe because of the flowers). It nearly matched what I had in mind. You might ask why am I still indecisive about this if it is already parallel to what I had planned... well, it looks boring. I was just not use to clear and clean. I had always preferred dark over bright, except my laptop screen, of course. It just needs a little more of getting use to but now, it is your turn to decide and help me choose.. Which one is better? Which one encourages you more to visit and read my blog? Be honest please.

Having a dilemma here! Make sure you leave your comment! Thanks.

Friday, May 3, 2013

y tú son?

Hey! Person.. Err.. people who read my blog! Yeah you.. I don't know if it's the same people all the time but I keep getting views, more than normal, more than an unknown blogger would expect.. Not that I am complaining.. I just can't believe I would get unexpected number of views and still have zero count of people interacting with me. It feels like I am talking to myself.. Well.. that is the main purpose of this blog, to use it as an outlet of my thoughts but since I am seeing people dropping by my blog.. it would not hurt to get some friendly greeting from you.



ps. and to those of you who are wondering what the title meant, it says and you are? in Spanish! Don't doubt my knowledge... I took Spanish in University. So you really don't have to question what I know.
 Besides, my native tongue is a dialect that was influenced by this language so HA! I cannot speak Spanish fluently without a dictionary in sight but I can pick up some words when I hear someone communicate in Spanish and from there, I get the idea of the conversation.. (Not an eavesdropper though!) 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Unlocking Your Potiential

The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me.

Disclaimer: The image used above was under the # (hashtag) inspirational on Tumblr. It looked suitable to what I had in mind which was why I decided to use it to compliment the inspirational quote above. All images and content are copyrighted by their respective owners. If your image was used and you would like it removed/ credited, then please contact me. Thank you and I apologize for the inconvenience. 

Good For Nothing

I know I made a post just twenty-four hours ago that I will maintain a positive stream on my blog.. but not today. Not when I see someone so important to me break down hysterically. It is very depressing because I feel useless. I am not making this about me but that person is so important to me and I am so concerned. I could not do anything but cry with that person. When is this going to end? Dear Lord, saving grace, whoever you are, please, give us a break from all the stress. This is too much and still it keeps piling up. We are so down and we are placed in a position where we could no longer handle it. We are doing all that we can, we are trying, we have gone beyond our means, we need a breather, please.

She needs some saving. I need it too. We both do.
In need of being rescued. All heroes please apply.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

May: Fifth month, spring season, show me what you got!

I am not the type to sit around, go online on twitter, tumblr or facebook and post "Oh [whatever month it is], please be good to me!" I think that is a bit rubbish. You cannot expect good things to happen if you just lay around and not do anything, right? But if you happen to be reading this blog right now and you are one of those, I am not judging you. I just think... It's only my opinion. Carry on with what you want to do with your life!

I am trying to change my state of mind. I realized I have to live a little and not just exist. I have to shake off the negative energy and let myself free and do what I want to do. Be happy and reconnect with myself. I want to look forward to every day because I am lucky I have been given another day to live.

It's May, the fifth month of the year, almost halfway through the year. May is spring in Northern America, and spring means everything comes back to life, like nature. I decided that despite the cold, metaphorically and literally, I will head out and enjoy the sunshine.

I will embrace every excitement, and new experiences, so May, what do you have in store for me? :)

*This is the very first blog entry that I have included a smiley, and my very first entry with no negativity - another positive sign*

Am I becoming... Jenna Hamilton?

Minus the two hot lads?Okay that title seems to be misleading and quite pretentious. I will never be Jenna Hamilton. Jenna Hamilton is a master in this craft. I know she is fictional, but giving credits to the writer of the show Awkward just do not seem right.

I noticed I have been blogging daily. It is not normal for someone like me. But I realized I am blogging because I enjoy it. I think Jenna Hamilton from Awkward inspired me. I mean, I was already blogging before I even watched Awkward but lately, it feels different. I find myself more confident and inspired. I wonder when this phase will end. (Wow, way to go!) That last sentence just shows you how much confidence I lack in myself. But I know me, I don't keep up with blogging, however, I hope I remain consistent. Blogging has been an outlet for me. It is more convenient than buying a diary or journal at the bookstore that I will write my name on but will never use. I just prefer it this way. I believe it is more inspiring to write when an event or an emotion provokes you to do so. In my own experience, I have noticed that my feelings influence me to compose the messages I blog or write. So to be consistent, I have to have the patience, the will and determination, and I have to keep my relationship with myself intact. I know I still have a lot to earn, and my grammar sucks, I know. But this is my blog and I can do whatever I please. If I spot an error in my writing, I will edit it. If I don't, then I don't. After all, writing is a form of expression not for impression. 

That is all, thank you.

ps. I detected that I stopped using my blogging name SSJ at the end of my blog entries. I was unaware though I think that is a positive sign.
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