Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Unbearable Pain

I deal with this yearly, but yesterday morning was the worst experience I ever had with that familiar pain. I know everyday certain people deal with more severe pains, injuries, sickness, etc., but you cannot punish me for writing this post. I was really hurting.

I woke up yesterday morning with the most extreme pain in my right eye. I could not open my right eye. It was that painful. It felt like a piece of eyelash, or a prick of wood was inside and was poking my cornea. And yes, it happens yearly.. but what sucks is the fact that the burning feels worse each year. I woke up and I quickly went to the washroom to see if any discharge was about to come out.. thank God there was none but still I could barely open my eyes. As soon as I got out of the washroom, she came home. I told her right away, and she just passed by me, as if I was only joking. But I just could not blame her, I knew she was tired from work.. I knew she had a bad day again. I felt so helpless so I went back to my room and a lot of things were flashing in my head.. envisioning things I should not be thinking of. I would not go in to details but let's just say I was really exaggerating. My eye was burning and my eye kept producing tears.. I started crying like a baby, and it caught his attention.. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him what happened.. He immediately said, "let's go the doctor's!". Thank you.. I needed that.. It gave me hope that my eye was going to get better.

The ride to the doctor's was both soothing and discomforting.. but I was getting better in tolerating the pain.. not entirely but just so-so.

My family doctor refused to touch me when she attempted to put a dye on my eye.. because when she tried, I screamed and cried all over again. She suggested me to go to the Emergency Department promptly.. and so we did.. The thought of going to the Emergency Department based on people's stories was frightening and also, disappointing.. Scary because I have never been to an Emergency room and I know there are a lot of patients every day, and I do not like seeing people in pain.. Explains why I did not choose to become a Nurse in the first place. Unhappy and displeased because I know I have to wait for at least an hour to get some help, and that means more torment for me.. and I am impatient so, wohoo. Take note, sometimes it takes more than two hours to have someone attend you depending on the amount of people at the Emerge. Rm.

At that point.. I had both my eyes closed. I just could not open my left eye because the light makes me squint my already closed right eye and it pressures my eye even more. I also wanted to just relax, because if I keep my eyes open.. they would just wander around, and that causes more pain in my right eye.

When we got there, I was asked several questions by an assistant. He also asked me how painful it was from the scale of 1 to 10.. oh gosh, I said 9.5 to 10. I mean it really was extreme.

She told me I was lucky because usually, it would take longer than 30 minutes to get called and be attended before you go straight to the Emergency Room. What I could hear from the patients, the horror in their scream and cry; I was so disturbed and I felt so bad. At that time, I was thinking about the spiritual power and I was thinking about everyone in that hospital with me.. and I was wishing for the best, for everyone. That was when I thought, maybe prayers are louder in the hospitals than inside the churches. I was hoping that maybe He was listening. I feared for everyone, and that put me to tears, and my eye started hurting again.. mind you my eyes were closed for the whole time I was waiting. What I was going through was unbearable, and I would not wish it on anyone, even upon my worst enemy.. During that time, I just wanted everyone to be cured, to be relieved from the pain they were feeling.. for all of them to feel better.

From that time I entered the Emergency Room I believe it took about an hour, an hour and thirty minutes if you also count the time I waited for the doctor to come in the Eye Room. The doctor told me I must have scratched my eye when I was asleep but I told him, "Are you telling me, I scratch my eye yearly?" He did not really answer after that, and told me that I needed to see some specialist.. but I'm so thankful because whatever anesthetics he used for my eye definitely cured the pain.. he also wiped eyeball with some dye on a smooth stick.. and that sting for a bit.. but it was ordinary compared to what I was originally feeling.

Thinking I was finished, (well no results yet since I still have to go to the specialist he recommended) I was asked by the doctor to stay and that he would be back. I waited again for at least fifteen minutes and a Registered Nurse came with some huge tube that looked like a humongous injection and a jug of some liquid.. or solution. "I'm going to wash your eye, but first, I gotta get this tube in your eye", umm... sorry what now???! The hairs at the back of my neck stand up.. I freaked out. I do not even use contact lens.. and you're going to shove a tube in my eye? Well not shove but you know what I mean! Oh man, he struggled to put that thing in because my eye won't relax. I had to hold her hand.. I needed something to press. Then it just happened, I felt the cold liquid on my eye.. I do not know how it looked.. I do not even want to imagine it.. and viola, it was done. I followed the instruction and had the medication..

I felt better.. even though I could still feel the damn tube.. the sensation of it lingered for hours, even after I woke up from my long nap (when I slept after I reached home)! My eye was still red, and smaller than my left eye.. but it was better than the pain it caused in the first place. Now I just have to finish the medicine even with the pain gone and then I will be done.. hopefully forever. I don't know, I still have to see the specialist.

But I am hoping that after this experience, I will no longer have to go through it again.


  1. I hope that there won't be a next time for that kind of pain and that specialist will be able to cure whatever it is that's hurting you...

    1. Until now the assistant/clerk of the specialist has not given me a call back to schedule me an appointment. I am starting to get hopeless. So thank you so much, I really needed that <3


Thank you.

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